Ode to Snails

By Oddish at drawception.com

or rather,

truth be told,

something more like

An Uncompromising Declaration of Eternal No-Holds-Barred War Against Snails And All Their Sticky, Slimy Kin Forever And Ever Amen

. . . . . . .

Full Disclosure:

I kill every snail I see

every time

immediately

with extreme prejudice

. . . . . . .

As it happens

I like my flowers a whole great massive bunch more than

any shred of affection I might conceivably generate

for those alien destructo slime-machines.

. . . . . . .

They are

to coin a phrase

“evil, wicked, mean, bad, and nasty”

. . . . . . .

I care not

how much theoretical cuteness

may be lavished upon them

by eco-nerds

and deranged Hollywood cartoonists

. . . . . . .

No wonder

the French

parlayed the demise of snails

into a lucrative culinary delicacy

(but, yeah, blech, btw)

. . . . . . .

Those mucilaginous foliage-slicers

will systematically destroy my garden

if I let them

. . . . . . .

I’m not going to let them.

They are vile.

Lights out, Snails!